Sry I called you an 8
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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