pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Mom said you looked used
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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