He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
