Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
