Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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