It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
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Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
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At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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