Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
