we have pet lesbian snakes
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
