we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
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