how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
operation have a gay friend backfired
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getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
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Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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