Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Come back. Shots need mouths.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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