Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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