NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Even the bartender felt bad for me
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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