Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize