What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
