Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
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