I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize