her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
