Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
