I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize