So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
