I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize