if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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