After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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