He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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