I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
