weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
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