anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
