Farmville is her only friend.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
