Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
