"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
