Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
me + whiskey = a bad person
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
