we made out on top of his cat.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
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We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
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Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
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