I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
