Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Let's get the cat blown out
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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