My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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