my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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