making cat noises will not fix the situation.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
