who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
