oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
