Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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