Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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