If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
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