Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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