How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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