I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
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She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
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The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
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