Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
