READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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