you guys were way drunker than both of me
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
