There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
