did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I'm drive I can fine osifer
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize