Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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