i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
