Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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