I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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