At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
