Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
