Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
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It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
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It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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