Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
